Municipales, denuncias y Jenna the Astrologuer (miércoles 13 de mayo)

   Hace una horas recibo una llamada de la comisaría de Delicias. Los simpáticos municipales han decidido denunciarme: no sé si por altercado público, blasfemia o prepotencia. Debo enterarme. Esto me pasa por sentirme ofendido cuando un cura me zarandea de noche en una procesión rodeado de viejas con velas.

   Hace unos años me hubiese hecho más gracia. Incluso me hubiera alegrado. Llamar a una o dos personas a la prensa. Dar detalles del Ejército Azul de Nuestra señora de Fátima. Comentar en el juicio como un cura se abalanza sobre un joven que camina despreocupado junto a su bicicleta en la oscuridad de la noche sólo rota por la luz de las velas sujetadas por decenas de viejas…. En fin…

   Pero ahora tengo algunos problemas un poco más relevantes. Así que me acerco a la Policía Municipal, que está en mi barrio e intento hablar con algún superior para intentar arreglarlo por las buenas y no jugar con los juzgados y la prensa. Me atiende un amable joven que me acaba animando a denunciarlo y que me dice que parece algo de hace 50 años… Tiene razón, claro. Me dice que vaya mañana de 10 a 2 para hablar con el Inspector.

   A la vuelta, me encuentro un nuevo mensaje de la incansable Jenna, que se empeña en predecirme mi futuro cada par de días (y pidiéndome a cambio sólo unos poco dólares que nunca pago).

Good day XXX,

Great news! I have discovered a major astrological event in your life! I have just found out that you will be entering into a period which is sure to be the most important period in your life so far! This period is certainly going to mark the beginning of a brand new period in your life. Just below you can find, in 6 clear points, exactly what I have discovered about this new period:

 
1) In 78 days time the Moon, our satellite will find itself in a position which will mean that it will have a very direct and powerful influence upon you Ignacio. Any professional astrologer can confirm this as my calculations are based on the position of the Moon in your birth chart, and during these few days the Moon will be at it's maximum influence for you.

 
2) The 26 June 2009 will mark the beginning of an intense period of 6 months which will start on this day and last until 26 December 2009This period is going to be immensely rich in chances and opportunities and could even be one of the most intense periods that you have ever lived through.

3) To be a little more precise, these chances and opportunities will be on 3 major levels of your life: greater harmony and balance in your love life; financial gain which may or may not be linked to a game of chance such as the lottery and a sudden evolution in the professional side of your life.

 
4) During this period you will have the prime opportunity to find a permanent solution to the problems which have been dogging you for some time now. You will be able to resolve these issues.

 
5) This is another point which I don't think should be ignored. During this 6 month period you will certainly have the opportunity to meet someone who will be very important in your life and who will have a great deal of impact on your personal development and looks likely to bring very positive change to many different areas of your life.

 
6) This period will really represent a rebirth and the start of a whole new cycle in your life however I must warn you that you must be on your guard against certain exterior elements that may perturb you during this same period and which, if you are not careful, could ruin your chances for success. You will need to be very vigilant and must be ready to put yourself in just the right place and at the right time to make the most of these opportunities which will be available to you over these 6 months.

 
I wanted to warn you as soon as possible about this period, as soon as I found out that it was coming up I wanted to write to you directly as this period is to my mind the single most important event you have lived through in your life so far. Our lives are made up of cycles and, if you can correctly seize the opportunities open to you in these 3 major areas of your life I have told you about, it seems clear to me that the period between the 26 June 2009 and 26 December 2009 will represent the beginning of a new and exciting period in your life. As I have always told you, you can count upon my total commitment and my full help to guide you through this period and I have a great many things to tell you about these opportunities. I've got to run out to take my car to the garage and I'm sorry to leave you like this. I just wanted to send you this email quickly to warn you that I had discovered this significant period in your astral configuration. I will write back to you in just a few hours time to give you some more details about this period, keep a close eye on your email inbox.

 
I'll be back in contact later,
Jenna

   La verdad es que me decía algo parecido en diciembre. Y supongo que dentro de unos días me llegará un mensaje idéntico a otra cuenta de correo electrónico supuestamente de otra persona.

   Pero seamos optimistas por un día en estos días absurdos.  

   Tal vez la Virgen de Fátima, el Cura, los municipales, las velas y Jenna sean el principio de algo.

   Espero que la paroxetina sea mi kriptonita y haga su efecto.